Meanwhile I was still doing what I did and obviously liking it. Of course I'd heard of dominates and those few professionals that babied but never dared visit one. After all, I was trying to rid myself of such things.Until of course I did dare and did visit one. What struck me in that nearly uncontrollable hour was how quickly this woman drew from me most of my likes and dislikes. Maybe ten minutes had passed with some very embarrassed answers to questions I'd never even asked of myself. Most of which confirming, over the rest of that session time, those likes and dislikes.What I also learned in one hour with her was that I really didn't want to rid myself of such things. I also learned that a therapist, while as expert in riding you of such things, can't hope to compete with someone teaching you how to like those very same things. This story, fostered in part by that first hour, begins in a class room.Introduction"We've all sensed it ourselves! That voice calling your name off in. Tonight we had dinner at our favorite restaurant in Los Gatos followed by yogurt on Santana Row. After a short walk holding hands we had joined friends for dancing at a club. Now having performed the mating rituals we were at that penultimate moment, the moment of intimacy, that moment of lace, silk, sexy scents and foreplay before the man takes the woman and completes her. I have been feeling all frothy and willy-nilly for a while. Those inner demons have been lurking for months, stalking me, but I’ve been unwilling to confront them. It’s a conundrum I’m sure every woman has grappled with? You really, really, “like” him, you even “love him” (small “l”) but you don’t “LOVE” him (big caps). And then there is the connection you have to your “first”, those special bonds of intimacy. The man who has taken your virginity is always going to be special. How do you cut all those ties without casting yourself asunder? I knew I would cry when it happened. When I let the guillotine fall on his.
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